Good Morning Internet

I was having some pretty amazing thoughts last night before the sleeping pill kicked in. Yep, I broke down and took a sleeping pill. Not really my favorite thing to do, but needed to forget about life for a while. Anyways, just before I fell asleep, I was struck with this amazing thought to blog- and its gone. Here are some random thoughts floating through my head. Tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary oh my Grandmother dying, and almost my five year anniversary in Texas. July has always been a big month for me. Broke up with my boyfriend in 2000, my Grammy died, I packed up my shit and moved from Michigan to Texas. Its been a wild ride ever since.
When this whole work thing finally ends, I will be more relaxed. At this point I am just a damn basket case. I am worrying about money, stability, etc. I just want a little calm in my life. I just want a little quiet.
When all else fails-listen to Mob Hits 2-for some reason this CD calms me down, and makes me smile. Maybe because most of the songs remind me of my Grandfather- who knows.
I just realized I still have a "blankie". Yep in 2001, my mom made me a GORGEOUS lap quilt with great colors- reds and yellows. I just realized and i made sure part of me was touching it, that I am no better off than a 5 year old with my blankie. If I sleep on the couch- I need my little quilted friend.
One last thought, and I am going to go so something responsible, like balance my budget or something. This past two weeks has been especially hard because there is a group of people that I call my friends that I cant talk to them about what is going to happen. I am not at liberty to express to them the changes that are being made, and so as I sit quietly in my office, they have NO IDEA what is going down. I feel like in a way I am betraying them, but its not my right to say anything at all. Also, in light of what has been going down for the past two weeks, I havent been very sociable. Don't really feel like talking to anyone. Don't feel like going out with my friends. Don't really feel like doing anything. I feel really removed, and yet I don't care. I just need to focus on moving forward and just dealing. Anything after that- I just cant worry about right now.
Yep, this post is all about me. Its my blog. Deal with it.