sleeplessness

its 1:06am. i am still awake. i havent slept a full night sleep in weeks. am so damn tired.
was up before 6am this morning.
i have been up for 19 hours- at least. didnt sleep all the way through the night last night, or wednesday. or tuesday for that matter.
mind cant stop turning. i keep thinking about all the crap that i need to do, should have done, and shouldn't have said. thinking about the things that I have done this week- replaying moments in my head- questioning decisons, concerns over actions and words. this is normal for me now. its like i need a switch to turn myself off. i am replaying conversations, situations and moments. should i have made that decision at work today? should i have said something to a friend last night? should i have gone to my 10 year reunion? should i write a business plan for a business that i have no funds to start? how will i pay all my bills this month? what happens if i dont have a job next week? should i go back to school and learn something new? what can i do to feel healthier? should i go to the gym in the morning? will he call me back? will my friends marriage survive? will my friends move go well?

seriously- this is just a sample of whats bopping through my head tonight.
for some reason, i am feeling very verbose this evening. i am not really sure who i am writing this for- is it for me? my friends? my family? someone unknown person on the internet?

i popped in a yoga for relaxation dvd earlier tonight- it relaxed my body, but not my mind. i wish there was a way just to turn off tonight. will make tomorrow easier.